First update: 1st June, 2007.
Second update: 19 Oct, 2007.
Third update: 20 Oct, 2007.
Fourth update: 27 Nov, 2007.
Fifth update: 21 Jan, 2008.
Warning: This story contains some explicit adult scenes and contents, suitable for age twenty-one and above only. Readers’ discretion.
Copyright: indiazdude@yahoo.com, do not copy or reproduce without author's consent.
Some rave comments -
"Something Spl..this made to cry from heart!" - sawarya
"its too good. Bharat is unlucky.." - Shyam
"i admire you for your guts to write all that..." - Anonymous
"after a long time i have read some "interesting stuff".. way of writing is very good.. " - simply
"AWESOME..its really a awesome story...." - rajiv
"really a touchy story..." - just
"very touching" - nilesh
"ur narration was so good and simple.. its the best i have ever read.." - ravi
"unlike other stories i felt urs is really a true one, i was touched by ur emotions.." - hot
"it reminds me of my own story..." - mum
"ur writing is soulful, true, a beautiful blend of passion and lust, warmth n hunger....luvd ur story.....stories like these happen wid people who have d heart to cherish them, n a writin hand to narrate dem.." - joe
"u hv a style, just sexy style... i hv no words to decribe ur awesome love story.... u touched my heart.." - ronan
"truly enjoyed ..great and appropriate climax.." - tuney
"After reading ur story... I realized all my school and college days...like autograph movie which came in malay, tamil, telugu... Awesome story yaar... all d best 4 ur future" - goabull
~~~x~~~
"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence." - Edmond and Jules de Goncourt
~~~x~~~
101. Prologue.
This is a true story, a story of a young boy who fell in love with his best friend. A story of Friendship, Love, Passion, Loyalty, Betrayal and Hate. It all started in the summer of 2000...
102. First Contact.
I still remember vividly, it was summer of 2000, first year of college, I was seventeen. An usual first day, crowded, I entered the gates of my college, with a feeling of excitement, managed to push myself through the crowd, this is the time it happened, I saw him, I saw the person who was going to be an important part of my life, I saw Bharat. He was talking with some guy standing in the queue, then moving himself to the another queue and asking something to another guy, again he went back to the first queue and started asking something to another guy. I was watching his moves. Then suddenly he came to me and asked, "First Year?" I said "Yes", he asked, "Do you know where our class is", I retorted before he could finish his line, "Yes". He said, "Could you show me where it is?” I directed him.
103. Early Days.
When I entered the class, my eyes were searching for him, I saw him. I don't know why, but I was happy to see him again. Our professor entered the room, everyone started to race for the seat towards the benches. He was sitting next to my row, one bench ahead. I don't remember how the time had passed. In the break, everyone was rushing towards the canteen. I too joined them. Few boys were making loud noises, it grabbed my attention. Bharat was one of them, quiet. He offered me a seat. I joined. When we were returning back to our classes, I was alone with Bharat for a moment, I don't know what made me ask him to reserve a seat next to him in class, to which he assented with a grin on his face, may be it was my instinct, or may be I was attracted to him...
Bharat is tall, 6.2', lean, fair, straight dark hair falling on his forehead, mature looks, very attractive.
After he reserved my seat next to him, it was a ritual, everyday we used to sit together on the same bench, next to each other. We were like fixated on the bench. Our friendship grew; we started to have all sorts of conversation.
Bharat is a shy and an introvert person whereas, I am an extrovert, he didn't talk much with other guys. Once I asked him about this, he replied "I talk to you" a very surprising answer. That night when I was going to bed, I recalled the incident, there was smile on my face and I fell asleep...
104. The Hot Moves.
Our days were passing by as normal, nothing unusual, but our friendship grew many folds. I noticed that Bharat used to watch me when I talked with someone; he used to watch me whenever I crossed him to pass a pen or a pencil to fellow classmate. Because we were sitting together we were in body contact all the time. He used to lean on me most of the time. We used to look at each other and exchanged smiles while writing when the Professor dictated notes, it was a regular thing. We used to write our names on each others books, it was a fun thing to do, a silly thing.
We started friendly fights, like little puppies do. I don't know why, but I think it gave us more body contact. Sometimes our friends used to think we will end up in blood or would break our bones. But it was harmless and sexy. Yes, Sexy. But at that time it never crossed my mind in sexual way. It was just plain affection...
It started to give me thoughts at night when I went to bed, I always recalled the days incidents with Bharat, how he smiled to my not-so-good jokes, how he used to watch me most of the time, there was always a smile on my face when thinking about Bharat and then I used to fall asleep..
105. An offer to Kiss.
We were hardly seventeen. This was like any usual day, I was passing a book to one of my friends who was sitting across Bharat, then suddenly Bharat whispered, "Can I kiss you?", in my ears, I was taken back, didn’t know how to react, "No" came to my mind, then I realized I said it aloud. He stared at me for a moment and behaved like nothing happened. It was like any usual day...
At night when I thought about it, I regretted for my response.
106. Benchwarmers.
The kissing thing was not going out of my mind, I used to think about it all the time, but never asked Bharat about it and neither did he. I was more attracted to him day by day. We started to have more body contact, holding hands, he laying his back on my chest, me hugging him. This continued for days and weeks...
107. An Affair.
This was not spoken, but I knew something was going on between us, I was more obsessed, yes I confess I was obsessed, I being open and extrovert, started to show my love for him, but still I didn’t have confidence or say 'guts' to tell him. But after the kiss incident, Bharat had changed he was not like he used to be or may be I changed, I started to expect more, may be I started to think more than I should have, may be it was just normal to ask a guy for a kiss...
Once we were watching a movie in a cinema hall, I slowly got hold of his hand, I like to hold and caress his hand, I whispered in his ears, "Is it OK?", to that he did not reply, but gave a smile. I sensed that he liked what I was doing. Another day, when we were traveling together on train, I was standing in the passage leaning on the partition, he was leaning on me, we were face to face, I whispered to him, "People are around", to that he replied, "It is more fun like this", I did not understand what he meant by that. Sometimes I slapped him on his butt, pinched him there, but there was no reaction ever, may be a smile or a grin. I wonder if he is just thinking of me as a friend or am I more than a friend, a special friend.
But it was hard for me to get him out of my mind, I know it sounds so foolish, but it is real, it is true, I can say this for sure because it happened to me..
108. Symbol of Love.
I knew it was not as it used to be before, I wanted to change this, I knew a shop where one could get 'feng-shui' articles, I got inside the shop and was going through all the items, my eyes stuck at one, a pendent tagged 'Love Stone'. It took me no more than a second to pick it up for my love. I asked the shopkeeper to wrap it up for me. Afterwards, when I thought about it, I was not sure why I bought such a thing, it was out of my personality to buy such a gift for a guy, then I realized I was in Love with Bharat, Love such a strong emotion that I was not aware of until Bharat offered me a Kiss...
Next day, I told Bharat "I got you something". He was surprised, I handed him the small box, he opened it like an eager child who open's his Birthday gift. He saw the pendant; it was a one and a half inch semi-white marble stone, pointed at one end. He stared it for few seconds, to my surprise he said, "Can you wear me this." I tied that to his neck. Then he said, "It is for our friendship"..
109. Three's a crowd.
Time has passed.. Even my dreams are more stretched then these two years that have slipped.. we are in our third year now, sitting together, with a status of "friendship".
It might look as if I have pulled this out from a movie script, but this is real, because it happed to me.. One of our common friends, Ajit, started to interfere between us. He started to sit among us; he took my place, my reserved place. Bharat and Ajit used to travel in train together, Ajit emotionally blackmailed Bharat about not having any friends, Bharat offered him to sit besides us, but Ajit took my place rather than sitting besides me, this has now become normal and Bharat has no issues with it.. I started feeling little suffocated in this new love-triangle twist..
110. Betrayal.
Bharat started to make more conversation with Ajit, not that I was jealous of Ajit or any sort, but I felt betrayed. I felt cornered. I did not speak of this to Bharat, who am I to ask him to whom to talk and to whom not to. I made a decision and shifted my butt to last bench, the next row. This is the first time we were sitting apart, separate.
Bharat was shocked of this new development and immediately asked me to come and sit at my place, my reserved place. I said to him, "My place is been taken", to that he replied, "No one can take your place, it's reserved, now come here", I knew that he was just being nice, it was painful for me to say him 'No', All those days, weeks sitting together flashed back, like I was having a dream, I knew I will regret this later, he insisted on me, I said, I will sit there from tomorrow, he knew that I would not and knew I was lying, he looked at me for few seconds, there was a silence between us which terrified us, but I cannot help it, Bharat should have known that this was coming...
111. Games People Play.
After the separation incident, our interaction had been limited, we did not talk much as we used to, Ajit was a fixation, he replaced me, he took my place, I was not sure if he took my place in Bharat's heart too, but who am I to control his emotions, but deep inside me I wanted him to Love me, to be with me like he was before.
Ajit always tried to come between us, when we were at his place for studies, Ajit tried to corner me, to my surprise Bharat did not let it happen, but I had a feeling that he had sympathy for me, and I didn't want anyone's sympathy. Being arrogant and strong headed, it was the last thing that I wanted, specially from my Love, why didn't he see what I saw, why didn't he see that Ajit is coming in between us, I heard Love hurts, but didn't know it would hurt so much. Why People play such games, why it has to become so complicated.
My heart cried a thousand tears, but why was I not sensing the same from Bharat, he is changed, people change, I was the one who is not able to change. I made a promise to myself I will change too..
112. Loyalty.
I live in Mumbai, a city that never sleeps; life here is always on the run. Mumbai has its own smell, aroma of food being prepared on the streets or stink of the open sewer. With a sultry climate, people are always sweating; sometimes it is hard for me not to observe my own sweat, starting from the pores in the skin of my neck and slowly making its way down below, another one starting from my armpits, sending its cool chills to my body. Mumbai is jammed with people, millions of them, people from all caste, class and strata, there is always space for everyone. At night the city turns Orange, she is covered with an Orange layer of light, breathlessly beautiful.
Having stayed for a while in rural area, I can see the difference in the city life and the rural life, people here in the city are always short of time, no time to eat, no time to talk, no time to travel, there is never enough time to do anything. People like to grab a 'vada pav' as a snack while traveling on Railways, its life-line. Like any Mumbaikar I too travel on train, traveling in train is an adventure in itself, during rush hours trains are jam-packed, there is not even enough space to stand on both your feet, cell phones ringing all the time and people talking on top of their voices, freedom of speech has its own moments.
One can meet variety of people in trains; I have been approached by many guys. It generally happens during rush hours, or when the train is jam-packed, a guy spots someone cute, gets hold of a place to stand and sticks to it, no matter what, then makes his move. Once during rush-hour, I entered the compartment of a train, stood in the passage, a guy started checking me out; he was tall, fair, well built, and attractive, a nice body, in t-shirt and jeans. After some time, he managed to push the crowd and stood besides me, I was in t-shirt and blue denim too, he looked at me for some time, I gave him a smile, no harm in giving a smile when a guy stares at you, right? He placed himself in such a position that his hand was touching my crotch; at first I didn’t notice it, but when it became obvious I looked at him, he again gave me a smile, and I smiled in return too. He started to move his hands on my dick, now it was hard, full erect, he was enjoying it, and I was enjoying it too. There was a station coming up, people started to push each other, nothing unusual, a big push, and we were in full body to body contact, I could feel his cock, hard, on my body, now not aware of the crowd that was around us, we were submerged into each other, I grabbed him from back, we were virtually hugging, I pushed my right leg between his legs and bent and lifted my leg slowly, I was now sensing his dick with my leg, I could feel the heat, he started to lean on me, his one hand on my cock, rubbing it, pressing it, this went for quite a while, I think I felt my pre-cum on my underwear. We were looking at each other, eye to eye. It was sexy. Then I realized this is not what I want, I am in Love with Bharat, and what I am into now is lust, not Love. I did not say anything to him; I alighted at the next station, he kept staring at me.
113. Fantasies.
Though Bharat and I were not sitting together, he was still with me, in my mind and in my Heart, I thought about him in the night too, wild sexy dreams, we are in a cinema hall, he is holding my hand, in the dark hall I forget that people are around us, I kiss him on his cheeks, then I kiss him on his neck, slowly I reach his lips, his juicy pink lips, give him a peck on his lips, then we do a French kiss, passionately. Another time, we are in a train, face to face, it is rush hour, he is leaning on me, we are feeling our manly bodies, I can feels his heart beats, sense his hard dick on my body, he is running his hands on my dick, I am hard, full erect, ready to unload, my body temperature raises, this goes on for a while, but then suddenly I realise its just a dream. Another time, I invited him at my place for a night when everyone was out of town, we are on my bed having normal conversation, then suddenly he kisses me on my cheek, sensual, to that I get aroused and we start to unbutton each other, I run my hands on his hairy chest, kiss him on his nipples, he gets down and unzips my pants, my cock is now full erect and hard, he kisses it and starts to suck it deep, I am about to unload, so I stop him and get down between his legs, I unzip him and run my hand over his underwear, I can feel his hard cock, I remove his underwear, his erect cock pops out, a nature's beauty, I look at him in the eyes, and read his thoughts, then I suck it deep, he enjoys it, and whispers, "I Love You", he pulls me up and turns his back to me, to that I understand what he wants, I start to stroke my dick in his hairy hole, he helps me, I am stroking him, my manly thing is inside him, fully submerged under his skin, I am into him, we are one, now I am about to load off my cum, he is having an orgasm, I am enjoying it, he knows that I am about to load off, he holds me, to my surprise its the alarm clock that’s buzzing, and my cum is everywhere in my underwear..
Thousands of dreams, none are real, every time the situation is different, sometimes its the cinema hall, lifts, toilets, terrace, class room, in a car, train, etc.. all possible places.. but one thing is common in all those dreams, we end up having hot steamy sex, where mercury rises.
Is it normal to have such dreams? such carnal feelings about my best friend? I feel guilty for having such dreams, for having carnal feelings for my best friend, for my love. Every time I have such a dream, I call Bharat in the morning, to that he says, "Did you dream about me?", I wonder if he too has fantasies about me, if he dreams about me.
114. An Unforgettable Trip - Part I
Every year we plan an outing, this year the place decided was Matheran, no one ever knows who will be coming and who will drop out at the last moment, its not pre-planned. I love to travel and its been really fun to go out with my friends all these years, so I am always on the list, always ready for an adventure. Bharat on the other hand has never joined us, this year also I lost hopes, but it’s always been my secret desire that he turns out at the station at the last moment, I wait till the train leaves, but he never turns out.
Planning is done instantaneously, it starts the day before, nothing is clear of what, how and when, only thing decided is 'where', phones start to ring, lots of calls are made, there's a lot of persuasion and deliberation. Someone is going to bring sandwiches, someone chapattis and someone 'Poha'. We all gather early in the morning on Dadar station, its around 5:45 a.m. very cold, chilling, lots of excitement is in the air. Our train will leave at 6:00 a.m. from 'Dadar Station' to 'Neral' and then we will catch the Mini-train to Matheran, its now time for the train to arrive, I still wish Bharat would show-up, he will come, my heart says, but my brain is not ready to accept. I was expecting him, no one else did. One of my friends asked the other "Is Bharat going to come?", the other said "Nope, you know him na, he never does!" and he had confirmed with him, suddenly I had a feeling, can people read my mind?
The train is about to leave and still I wish he would come. I closed my eyes for an instant, maybe I was praying, maybe. The train starts to move; now its over, he will not come. The train is moving, someone shout's "Bharat! bhaag! bhaag! (i.e run!, run!)" I open my eyes, and there he was, moving slowly, I lean out a bit, open my arms, grab the pole with one hand and stretch out the other hand in the open, the train picks up the speed, Bharat also stretches his hand, tries to reach me, grabs my hand and I pull him into the train.
115. An Unforgettable Trip - Part II
It was a real surprise that Bharat joined us, that too at the last moment. No one expected him. We had a good time on the train, asked him lot of questions, he answered them as if he was already prepared to face us. We got down at Neral, and were going to catch the mini-train. It’s really difficult to catch that train, people don't get tickets easily, they rush to the ticket windows in flocks, you have to see it to believe it. No Luck! We missed the mini-train. At first we were baffled; we didn’t know what the commotion was about. Was anything wrong in the train? that people suddenly started to jump off even before it halted.
There is another route to Matheran, The Mini-Van! The van will take us half the way and the other half we have to travel on foot! Its an adventure, and we were ready to go for it. I was excited because I will get a lot more time to spend with Bharat, talking, catching-up with him. The thing about 'us' is that whenever we are with our friends Bharat is always besides me, he walks with me. I like that about 'us'.
The van will drop us at a point from where no vehicles are allowed, for environmental preservation, to keep Matheran pollution free! we had to travel on foot on the tracks of Mini-train! That was fun! When we reached, we started a hunt for a good Lodge, where all of us, eleven of us can be accommodated in one room. We found one perfect place, it is an old cottage, from the architecture, I guess it would be more than a century old. We all settled in, decided who will take which bed, I preferred the center one, Bharat chose the one next to me.
Because we all were tired traveling, and walking all the way to Matheran, we decided not to go for any sight-seeing, instead we planned for the next day, we will ride on horses to the sunrise point early in the morning and then visit the other points the rest of the day.
Matheran is a hill-station, very cold, chilling. In the night we all gathered around the fire and were chatting, gossiping, joking, sharing stories, ghost stories. I could see that Bharat was frightened when one of my friends was vividly narrating a horror story; I asked him "Darr lag raha hai? (are you afraid?)" He said "Yes", I held him in my arms, his back to my chest, I felt good to share the body heat in the cruel chilling night. I held him tight, covered with blanket. That night is still so clear and vivid in my memory, I can still feel his body heat, I was so pleased and happy, never wanted anything better in life. It is my desire that that moment should have continued forever, because of what was going to happen next.
116. An Unforgettable Trip - Part III
Soon we all went to bed, we had to get up early for the day ahead. Bharat and I were sleeping side-by-side, we were whispering, he put his hands on my chest and said "I like to keep my hand like this", We had an eye to eye contact, my heart skipped a beat, it started to throttle, like never before. I could feel his body heat. It was a very lovely feeling, I was high! I put my leg on him, and said "I like to keep my leg like this", then I was on top of him, and we were into the puppy fight again. Few minutes later I learned that he was already asleep. It was dark; I could only see the reflection of light from his face. I loved him, I wanted to kiss him so badly, there was a strong urge, I never felt before. I can feel Bharat beside me. I leaned forward, closed my eyes and kissed him on his lips, gave him a dry kiss, a long one, it was a feeling like never before, a shiver down my spine. But I didn’t have guts to go further, it was not a dream, it was real. Soon I fell asleep.
When I got up in the morning, the kiss was still fresh in my mind. Bharat was not there besides me, he was already up, getting ready. There was a commotion in the room; all my friends were getting ready for the Horse ride to the Sunrise point. I sensed something different, Bharat was not acting usual, he used to give me smile all the time, not today! He was on his own. But all the while he didn't talk to me either, that was not usual.
Horse ride was great fun, all my friends were surprised that I knew how to ride the thing; I had learned it way back in school. While having breakfast, the only thing that was back of my mind was why Bharat did not speak with me all the time, I was looking at Bharat, hoping he would say something, something that will cheer me up. I wanted to speak with him, but I didn't know what was stopping me, I felt like I did something wrong, that I am at fault. The Kiss of last night flashed back, I wondered if he knew about the kiss thing and was that the reason why he is not talking to me.
I was alone in the room when Bharat entered, he was looking for something in his bag, I was reading some magazine, I looked at him, he looked at me in the eyes, and left the room without speaking with me, I sat there alone, it felt aweful, painful, my heart ached, felt like it just shrinked, a tear rolled from my eye.
I realised we were acting strangers, this continued for the whole trip, we never spoke. He was giving me the silent treatment; I gave him some space and would talk with him when he will return to his senses. This was the first time, we were not talking, but whenever we came near to each other, I used to feel like touching him, to feel him, at few instances we were in body contact; I doubted if he was doing it on purpose, whether he wanted to get close to me but was resisting.
When returning from our trip, we managed to get on the Mini-Train from Matheran to Neral, it was the end of our journey, and I doubted if it was the end of our silence. The scenery was so beautiful, the Mountains, the Waterfall, the Valley, the Greenery, breathtakingly beautiful, I was in awe. I closed my eyes, recalled all the incidences, good memories while sitting on that jam-packed Mini-Train. The train was about to travel from the tunnel, then someone shouted that there is one last Point coming up (Bharat and I looked at each other) The Kissing Point...
117 Memories - The Finale
It's been five years now, I am twenty-five, but the memories of Bharat remain fresh in my mind, I can feel his warmth, his boyish face which brings a spark in my eyes, and his sweet smile which creates a fire in my heart.
My eyes moist with tears when I recall those moments.. First Year?.. Yes.. Do you know where our class is?.. the early days, What don’t you talk to people... I talk to you... the puppy fights, and the day when he offered the kiss Can I kiss you?... the symbol of Love, I got you something... Can you wear me this... It is for our friendship.. the hurting betrayal, My place is been taken... No one can take your place... and that unforgettable trip..
I cherished all the moments with Bharat, It is great to be in love, it makes you to say things that you never imagined you would ever think of, it makes you do things that you thought you would never do. You have to be in Love to feel it, to feel the magic of it.
We all are special, in need of someone special, someone that makes you happy by the sight of them, brings smile by just looking in the eyes, share the warmth with us, brings the spark in the eyes, and creates a fire in the heart.
People like to think that we fail in relationships, but I believe we all are connected, we all are into a relationship, we never fail, I have learned, we grow. We learn from our relationships, we learn to control our emotions, we grow, but we can never outgrow the magic of Love. One has to learn to cherish and enjoy the moments of life; it’s too short to not to.
Like Bharat used to say.. "Jo bhi mera hai, wo tera hai (whatever is mine is yours)..". I cherish the moments that I had with Bharat, till today I have never let him know about my feelings for him, neither do I know what he feels about me. I will never forget my innocent Love for Bharat.
After the Matheran trip, Bharat and I became friends again, and we spent the remaining time like before, but neither of us mentioned about the kiss, it never happened. When I look back, I smile. Last time I heard about him, few months back, he was doing good, working in an MNC.
~~~x~~~
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller
~~~x~~~
Adios Friend!
